Celebrating Christmas With An Abusive Partner

Christmas is a time for rejoicing. A time for family celebrations and a time for giving. All over the world the different nations, religions and even families have their own unique tradition that they associate with Christmas. Even those who do not belong to the Christian faith and don't recognize Christmas as a religious holiday can't help but get caught up in the excitement of the festive season.

Although Christmas is perceived to be a time of peace and happiness for families, stress, debt and alcohol levels can create an unhappy alliance.

Over the holiday period cracks may appear in family relationships particularly for individuals not used to spending a lot of time together. In some families the breadwinner may be more accustomed to spending long hours at work rather than at home with their partner and children. Additionally the pressure of providing expensive gifts can leave families with the prospect of paying off debts in the New Year.

Domestic violence knows no prejudice and cuts across all ethnic, religious, economic and social groups and includes people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans-gendered.

And when Christmas comes round domestic violence escalates and the victims suffer.

Not only does the abused partner suffer but the children who witness abuse suffer. More often than not the abuser does not allow Christmas gifts. Abusers are self-centered and if there is no gain for them then they generally classify such expenditure as frivolous. There is very little joy in Christmas for the children of these dysfunctional relationships.

Not all abusers resort to physical violence. Don't ever under-estimate the stress of being the victim of emotional abuse which also escalates over the festive period. Very few victims of emotional abuse lay charges against their abusers and the number of victims is unknown.

Statistics that are available do however indicate that more women are subject to emotional abuse than to physical abuse. Women who have been victims of both emotional and physical abuse have reported that emotional abuse is just as traumatic, if not more. than physical abuse.

Domestic Violence victims are not a small minority. 25% of women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, and 1.3 million women in America are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year, according to the National Coalition on Domestic Violence.

That means that the chances are slight that you do not know someone that is a victim of domestic violence. If you do not know of someone now, the chances are there that you will at some time. It could be your sister, your cousin or your best friend.

Domestic Violence centers experience a drastic increase in calls from victims during the festive season. This year is going to be a particularly difficult period for both victims and domestic violence shelters, the lifeline for victims and their children who need to flee to a place of safety.

Domestic violence affects each and every one of us. Physical and emotional abuse does not discriminate against age, income level or ethnicity. Besides the direct impact on the victims and their families everyone of us carries both the financial and societal burden of domestic violence.

Nationwide monies spent annually on direct medical care and mental health services as a result of domestic violence is equal to more than half of the entire budget of the city of Los Angeles.

In July this year Governor Schwarzenegger cut back $16 million to domestic violence shelters. As a result six domestic violence shelters have closed their doors and many more have had to scale back services. These shelters serve as a literal life-line to domestic violence victims and children escaping violent and abusive situations. The closing of these shelters could mean that victims of domestic violence living in those communities will probably end up living in continued terror in the hands of their abusers.

On 21 October Governor Schwarzenegger signed a one-year stop-gap funding measure to restore 80% of the domestic violence shelter funding but to many of these shelters it is too late. They have already laid off staff members and had to reduce staff hours which means there is a cut back on critical services during the Christmas season.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month in the States but hopefully it will not end on the 31 October.

During the next few months leading up to Christmas I would like to challenge all hubbers in the Hubpage Community to do something to help Domestic Violence Victims.

Whatever you do no matter how big or small we can publicize on this hub. I am sure a lot of you work for big corporations that would be willing to make some kind of donation to the Domestic Violence shelters in your community. Even if you just have posters printed and displayed in areas where people are busy with their Christmas shopping it may change someone's life.

A ten year old boy from the Mary Blount Elementary School spends his free time and energy making bookmarks that he sells for $1 each and then donates this money to Haven House, a domestic violence shelter.

The Early Learning Coalition of Marion County in partnership with United Way collect donations of pajamas and books to give as Christmas gifts to various charity organizations with children living in domestic violence shelters being their number one priority.

According to the news report for a large number of the children that received books or pajamas from this organization last year,  these were their only Christmas gifts.

The Body Shop has joined forces with Greener Solutions, a mobile phone recycling company, to collect customers' unwanted mobile phones - and in doing so all funds raised will go to Refuge, the charity dedicated to helping women and children affected by domestic violence.

Sandra Horley, OBE, chief executive of Refuge, says: "Every day at Refuge we see the black eyes and broken bones of many women. We know about the despair, the fear and the terror that women and children face. But by recycling your mobile phone you can help Refuge provide the vital life-saving services to women and children who live with domestic violence every day of their lives."

Over 300 stores if The Body Shop in the UK are running The Help Stop Violence in the Home campaign which aims to increase domestic violence awareness- a problem that affects one in four women in their lifetime. Almost 19 million Britons - that's 42 per cent of the adult population - say they personally know someone who as suffered at the hands of a violent partner.

More than 150 state agency offices across New York are collecting used cellphones in recognition of Domestic Violence awareness month.

The holiday season isn't too far away, and that's why the S.O.S. Shelter is looking for even more help.

For the fourth year running, the Benicia chapter of Soroptimist International, a women's service organization, held a Bewitching Tea to raise money for two domestic violence organizations.